SO Not Perfect

I HATE BEING BOSSED AROUND! Do this, do that… ‘uck man!!

hellyeahjustlikethat:

You have let me down more times than I can take.

I’ve never had a good example of what a father, much less a man, should be until I met my best friend.  Her dad was really something.  Sometimes I wonder if I just say that because I don’t live with him.  But from face value, he seems like a good man and a great dad because of the awesome children he has.

My mom is finally sick of my dad.  I’ve been sick of him for years now.  She can put up with a lot more crap than I can.  I never loved him.  The way he acts towards my mother is despicable.  He’s not even my real father (he was also a pathetic excuse for a joke of a human being).  

.  

I don’t think I’m the type of girl to make any guy turn his head.  As I mentioned in one of my previous blogs, I don’t think I have any special qualities that make me stand out in terms of physical attractiveness.  I have always wanted to be that girl that effortlessly turned heads when she walked into the room.  

But honestly, at the same time, I’m afraid to be that person.  Heck, I know I don’t like attention very much, so asking for something that I have no business having is cause for a disaster.

Sometimes I just want to shut myself off from the entire world.  My reason?  I have no idea.  Do I even really need one? Answer: Half of the time - No.  The other Half wants to do it to see who will miss me and come find me.  

“There is nothing you can do.” Those are perhaps the words I fear the most.  Funny how there are only six of them…